soft groans sounded from the mound of blankets, which shifted as the figure underneath moved, and after a few prolonged seconds, the protective barrier shattered, split apart by the exhausted male. cobalt blue colored eyes narrowed as the sun spilled into the living room, and as he shoved the blankets away from his body, he brought one hand closer to press against his forehead, a pained moan escaping him. his motions ceased as the throbbing in his skull increased, flashes of memories sending spikes of pain through his body and reminding him of his midnight text to his former lover. his free hand reached out blindly toward the coffee table. slender fingers searched for his phone, and upon colliding with the object, he grabbed the device, pulling it closer and commencing a short conversation with the dark haired elite of rapture.

with a final text, he tossed the phone onto the seat next to him, leaving it innocently lying on top of the blankets. cracks resounded through the empty apartment as he pushed himself into an upright position. the world swayed dangerously as he attempted to traverse the nearly spotless apartment, for he needed to find the aspirin. syeira contemplated crawling into bed and heeding hae-sun’s worried text; however, various tasks required his attention and time. another groan slipped past his parted lips as he pressed his forearm against the wall, leaning his weight against the immobile object and waiting for his sense of balance to return. his clothing clung to his lithe frame while he felt undeniably filthy. the purplette remembered being dragged to a nearby bar, coerced into spending the afternoon with an acquaintance and talked into consuming an unhealthy amount of alcohol. fuck, he breathed, the word rolling off his tongue and sounding foreign to his ears.

seconds ticked by, mocking him; however, the dark haired model refused to succumb to the painful ache of his head and pushed forward, clinging to the furniture and slowly traversing the various rooms of his apartment. when he reached his bedroom, he fished out a pair of dark sweat pants and the other necessary essentials. the light caused spikes of pain to shoot through his body, and by the time he reached the bathroom, his chest moved rapidly in time with his silent heaving. clumsy movements allowed him to climb out of his clothes and step into the shower. warm water descended upon him and granted him a momentary reprieve from the continued throbbing of his head. time lost meaning as the water caressed his figure, lulling him into a dazed state and helping him forget the worried tone of his former girlfriend’s messages. he refused to buy into hope. it would only end in further heartbreak.

the peacefulness of his apartment shattered with the sharp pounding of a fist against the door, dragging syeira back to reality and forcing him to end his shower. from his position, he could not hear the voice that succeeded the knock; however, only hae-sun knew of his current condition. with sluggish movements, he grabbed a towel, drying off his body and then throwing the white object around his neck. wet locks of dark hair rested against the pristine item as he pulled on his selected ensemble. deeming himself appropriately dressed, he reached out and opened the door, trudging through the apartment and reaching the living room as the door swung open. one dark eyebrow rose as he leaned his body against the doorframe, utilizing the motionless structure as support. did you use the key? he queried with an exhausted sigh following his question. or burst through the object with your foot? sapphire hued eyes connected with his visitor’s figure. or did i not close the door properly? with those final words, he allowed pale eyelids to descend over his eyes, the darkness easing the pain of his head and granting him a moment of blissful ignorance.

with difficulty, syeira forced his eyes open, staring at the ravenette from beneath his lashes. his energy levels fluctuated horribly as his weight pressed against the door frame, relying entirely on the immobile object to remain upright. even from his stationary position, the world swayed, tilting forward and backward with each blink of his eyes. throbbing pain continued to shoot through his body from his head, and he mentally swore off alcohol. he, however, realized that he utilized alcohol as a crutch, relying on the substance to numb his emotions. the dark haired model never wanted hae-sun to realize the severity of their situation or of his descent into depression, and he wanted to turn tail and flee from her, not wishing to subject himself to more heartbreak. regardless of his conscious desires, he enjoyed her presence and opened his heart to her. without her, his heart iced over, leaving a void that he could not destroy. chuckles slipped past his defenses, a soft sound that contained a bitter note. his head connected with the door frame, figure visibly curling in upon itself. had the alcohol agitated his cold? dark brows furrowed as he contemplated the notion, thoughts whirling aimlessly through his conscious mind and sending him on a wild goose chase. his ability to concentrate eluded him and left him vulnerable—at the mercy of hae-sun’s care.

that color suits you, he slurred, pained gaze resting on the stains of red that resided upon her cheeks. the clash of the vivid color and her dark hair reminded him of the fox she emulated. very cute. the words rolled off his tongue without conviction as he pushed himself away from the door frame, stumbling into the living room and supporting himself on trembling legs. his body seemed heavy as he attempted to move forward, feet shuffling forward slightly with each attempt to move. syeira vaguely remembered catching an unknown virus during his childhood, which caused his mother to race around the house in a manner reminiscent of a headless chicken. pale lips quirked into an amused grin as he drew closer to hae-sun, unconsciously moving toward her instead of the couch. the world continued to spin dangerously around him, but his pain riddled mind paid little attention to the possible consequences of his reckless actions. for once, he wanted to rest and take a moment to gather his wits. his life comprised of stalking through the night and slaughtering politicians and crooks alike. peaceful moments did not exist, and while dating the blackette, he dwelled on cloud nine, relishing each opportunity to unwind with her on various outings.

his forward momentum halted, body tilting dangerously forward as his forehead connected with hae-sun’s shoulder. sorry, he breathed, shivers wracking his frame. the raven haired rapture elite served as the lone support for his weary mind and body. exhaustion weighed upon his limbs, and after a few brief seconds, he pulled away, reestablishing the necessary distance and pinning the woman with darkened sapphire hued eyes. words raced through his mind; however, his mouth refused to move, allowing silence to encroach upon them. seconds dragged by as he searched for an appropriate response. subconsciously, he delighted in his former lover’s presence, and with each passing minute, his guard dropped lower and lower until it vanished. her presence lulled him into a state of relaxation, which amplified his ailing condition. he tended to shove aside discomforts and continue with his assigned tasks—both as a model and as an assassin. when given an opportunity to rest, the ailments either vanished or gained intensity. syeira refused to yield to a cold or to a migraine, preferring to work steadily through the pain. he, however, recognized the futility of such an endeavor. his current condition hindered his plans and forced him to reevaluate the situation.

might be worse than a migraine, he mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. vertigo assaulted him, sending his body teetering from side-to-side. his struggle to remain in control ended in failure, for his heavy frame proceeded to descend toward the ground. from his position, he found himself falling toward hae-sun; however, as the impending crash drew steadily closer, he admitted defeat, his cobalt blue colored eyes disappearing behind pale lids and body losing all signs of consciousness. syeira descended into the welcoming embrace of darkness, surrendering himself to the pain and allowing his conscious mind to retreat into the blissful numbness of the unconscious realm. it was paradise in comparison to the reality he escaped. hopefully, he could linger in the vast darkness for a while.

sounds and sensations blurred together—an indistinguishable blob of movement that assaulted his aching mind. darkness encroached upon his vision, which viewed the world in a kaleidoscope of contrasting colors. there were no sharp lines or familiar shapes, for the world morphed into a sea of pixelated, one dimensional spaces. claws hooked into him, dragging his unresisting body toward the blissful peace of the unconscious realm. unease evaporated from his features as the descent continued, and the gentle breeze accumulated by his downward movement soothed the dark haired model, whose body shifted between overwhelming heat and biting cold. clarity eluded his grasp despite the unexpected halt to his fall, for in his mind, the descent continued, his body hurtling toward the ground with no savior in sight. a ragged breath escaped him as a murmuring voice graced his ears and broke through the fog surrounding his mind, words bunched together and resounded incomprehensibly through his mind.

relief flooded through his system, and his last vestige of consciousness disappeared. despite his inability to understand, he sensed the promise in hae-sun’s words and allowed himself to depart from reality. she had not been a dream conjured by his feverish mind. the ravenette stood before him and did not intend to leave him. hope flared to life within his heart; however, he quickly destroyed the notion, rationalizing his actions due to her subservience to rapture. he held no sway over her heart. she brushed him aside, and he accepted her choice. in the end, hae-sun should have maintained the established distance, for she proceeded to shatter the remaining pieces of his heart, cruelly breaking the fragile organ with her presence. there would never be a respite from their past nor his love for her. she was undeniably cruel.

within the darkness, his wandering thoughts disappeared, silenced by the endless sea of black. his body floated through the expanse, suspended and pushed forward by an unseen force. time slowed, but in the oppressive atmosphere, time lost meaning. emotions and worries disappeared. the unconscious realm trapped people within a bubble, which did not allow for thought, for movement, for emotion. his body drifted in suspended animation. despite the severity of his condition, the welcoming warmth of unconsciousness helped ease the pain and the knowledge of hae-sun’s presence. his desires warred against each other, for he wanted to remain at her side though realized that he could not. her presence mocked him, which cast his sudden descent into darkness in inviting colors. syeira prayed for her departure. he did not want to experience the excruciating, crushing pain of heartbreak.

dark cobalt blue colored eyes flickered open, studying the blurred images and shifting to land on hae-sun. the blackette supported his weight, and their forward momentum left his head spinning in confusion. seconds passed before exhaustion grasped him again. he succumbed to the pressure and let his mind drift away again. he hovered near the surface, listening intently to the sound of their feet against the hard wood floor. her words caught him by surprise, but he supposed his inability to alter the arrangement of his apartment shocked everyone. they viewed him as a creature that constantly trudged forward and refrained from maintaining any lingering attachments to the past. he rarely found himself captivated by people, and his enchantment with hae-sun refused to end, keeping him from shifting the items in his apartment and leaving himself with the constant reemergence of his memories. syeira questioned his own logic as the familiar ticking of his aged grandfather clock filled the apartment.

couldn’t, he slurred, flinching slightly due the unexpected shift from hard wood to carpet. pale lids kept his eyes hidden, and a moan threatened to escape him. he managed to maintain control over himself despite his condition. pain thrummed through his body with each step; however, the purplette planned to prevail over his illness. where… dark brows furrowed as pale lips curved into a noticeable frown. … are you… the effort required to speak drained him, but syeira stubbornly clung to consciousness and refused to yield to the virus, which ravaged his body and ability to concentrate. … dragging me? sapphire tinted eyes reappeared, boring into hae-sun’s for a brief moment. his strength waned, forcing him to lower pale lids over his jewel toned eyes and leaving him without the strength to keep his head up. his current reliance on hae-sun sparked an overwhelming sense of vulnerability that he lacked the energy to combat. why had she come?

regardless of circumstances, life maintained a constant forward momentum, dragging people through the currents of time and refusing to grant them a reprieve from reality. some people drowned themselves in fantasies, relying on novels to grant them access to mythical realms; however, some believed in dealing with the presented circumstances, rising above the towering wave of misfortune and conquering their fate. those individuals displayed strength and wisdom, but most people lacked the resolution to act upon their decisions, brushing aside the obvious choice and complicating their existence further. syeira refused to submerge himself in a fabricated world as he understood the consequences of losing touch with reality, yet he doubted his ability to continue trudging forward. hae-sun had illuminated his world of shadows, adding vibrancy to his monotonous existence and granting him a taste of a normal life. when she walked away, his world crashed. it returned to the grey scale view that threatened to eradicate his soul before hae-sun’s abrupt entrance into his life.

the dark haired model often wished that she never appeared. heartbreak and turmoil followed her, and for him, she spelled his doom. he waited for the fateful encounter—the one that resulted in his death. syeira understood the extent of his abilities and recognized the futility of trading blows with the blackette. no, her victory—in a physical confrontation—was not guaranteed, but he could not—or perhaps… simply… would not—unsheathe his blade and attempt to detach her head from her body or run the sword through her heart. despite the blood staining his hands, the purplette recognized that her death spelled his demise, translating into her victory over him. they did not exist in a world that allowed for peaceful games in the gentle glow of the late afternoon sun.

strength returned to the male for a brief moment, allowing him to lift his head and pin the woman with an unimpressed glance. her words rang in his mind and taunted him with the absurdity of her statement. elatha’s dwelling did not overlook a river; therefore, tossing him out the window signified his departure from life. syeira wanted her to abandon him—to act upon her statement and to watch as his body descended toward the ground. in reality, the world continued to spin around him, and his body seemed to be in a perpetual descent. perhaps falling would grant him clarity. bitter chuckles escaped him. the sound elicited another spike of pain from his head, and with a pitiful moan, he lowered his head, feeling the subtle shift of his bangs. hae-sun’s voice continued to wash over him. her words soothed him despite the nagging quality of her statement. with his energy fluctuating, the assassin wanted to maintain his silence until her ability to continue ranting ceased.

dark brows furrowed in a mixture of pain and confusion, for the unexpected threat of violence contrasted with the worried tone of her previous remarks. he, however, wondered if the threat was her shield—her attempt at securing herself against his rejection. syeira never desired her assistance and teetered on the edge of dismissing her, but when faced with her insecurity, his resolution wavered and then cracked, shattering into pieces and leaving him without a crutch. please… toss me out the window, he began in a raspy tone, voice wavering with each word. i would welcome death… it’s the beginning of the next adventure. pale lids descended over his jewel toned eyes as his knees knocked into his bed, the familiar structure anchoring him to the present. and the threat of violence is… his voice trailed away as the confusion became tantamount on his visage. … why? he breathed in a strangled tone as her words invaded his mind, echoing tauntingly and striping him of his defenses. for a brief moment, he hated her.

two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and sorry i could not travel both

pale lips quirked into a bitter smile, the subtlest shift in expression that belayed the extent of his own inner turmoil. his life revolved around either fleeing from hae-sun or being captivated by her beauty and by her charm. she morphed into his poison, into his crutch, into his confidant, and into his dream; however, he lacked the skill set required to dispel the distance between them. if he reached out, his fingers brushed harmlessly through her image—like she was merely an illusion concocted by his mind. she did not grant him the opportunity to raise above his affiliation to wraith, but he refused to begrudge her, having recognized the futility of prying her away from rapture. the blackette decided their fate, shattering his heart and fracturing his mind in the process. his resolve wavered as his gaze locked onto the bed, which rested innocently on one side of the room.

soft fabric brushed against bare skin as his companion helped him perch upon the unmoving object, his arms draped over his legs, and with his head bowed, he could only listen intently as hae-sun continued to move around the room. her voice filled the space, words keeping the silence at bay and reminding syeira of peaceful summer afternoons. tears gathered in his eyes as he lifted his hands, pressing the trembling appendages against his face and allowing his fingers to tangle with the damp locks. shivers wracked his frame as pain throbbed throughout his tense frame. the world spun incomprehensibly around him. the dark haired assassin lacked the mental capability to dissect his emotions and to deal with hae-sun’s presence. she brightened his gloomy world, but she elicited deep cracks within his fragile mind, raining devastation upon him with her actions. why had she come?

though as for the passing there
had warn them really about the same,

the faint sound of footsteps graced his ears, causing the man to lower his hands and tiredly lift his head to connect his gaze with hae-sun’s. she maintained a frigid disposition—a mask meant to shield her from further harm. syeira wanted to laugh or to cry or to flee, for the constant shift in emotions left him feeling trapped and unprotected. his vulnerable state increased his fears as he doubted his ability to capture the aloof façade that he usually adorned when near his former lover. his heart hammered against his ribs as the towel shifted from around his neck, descending upon his head and brushing against the water laden strands as hae-sun tended to him. her voice continued to envelop him, and to his ailing mind, her constant murmurings shouted of safety. unease bubbled to the forefront of his mind as the towel disappeared from his frame.

sapphire tinted eyes shifted away from the carpeted ground, seeking out hae-sun’s familiar figure as terror gripped at his heart. her words echoed in his mind, and with each passing second, deep fissures appeared in his mindscape, which teetered on the edge of complete annihilation. hae-sun convinced him to drop pretenses and to forget about his carefully constructed shields, and after destroying the last of his defenses, she tossed him aside, casting his heart to the ground and cruelly watching as it shattered. no, she did not witness the outcome of their disastrous breakup; however, syeira continued to suffer due to the hope that her presence elicited within his heart. the staccato beating of the organ helped ground him in reality as the woman began retreating from his side, walking closer and closer to the door with each stuttered beat of his heart.

yet knowing how way leads on to way,
i doubted if i should ever come back.

in an unexpected movement, syeira pushed himself to his feet, striding across the room and reaching out to grasp the ravenette’s shoulder. his reckless actions caused pain to thrum through his frame; however, he ignored the slight increase of discomfort while carefully wrapping his arms around hae-sun. his chest pressed against her back as the silky feel of her hair jumped to the forefront of his mind. i’m sorry, he whispered in a barely audible voice, breath brushing against her ear. i… he faltered as faint traces of red appeared on his pale cheeks—the only visible sign of his illness and of his embarrassment. he lacked the ability to translate his emotions into words, yet he needed to express himself to hae-sun.

to his addled mind, inaction meant losing hae-sun forever, so he needed to risk everything for one final confession. he… needed to…

two roads diverged in a wood, and i—
i took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.

hae-sun… syeira breathed as his strength began fading. there’s so much… exhaustion weighed upon his mind, causing his eyes to disappear behind pale lids. … so much… i wish… his ability to carry his weight vanished in a moment, but instead of relying on the dark haired rapture elite, the model released his captive, allowing his shoulder to collide with the white washed wall. sorry. jewel toned eyes briefly reappeared as he began to descend toward the carped ground, shoulder sliding against the wall. i think… i’m going to leave you alone for a while. those final words echoed in his mind as consciousness vanished from his battered frame.

i have been acquainted with the night.
i have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
i have outwalked the furthest city light.

the sound of the door closing reverberated in his mind, echoing endlessly as darkness encroached upon his world. he struggled against the seductive call of unconsciousness. faint breezes from the air conditioner chilled his heated body as his frame continued to slide down the wall until his knees connected with the carpeted floor; however, syeira lacked the strength to remain upright. his figure descended toward the ground until he could fall no further, but in his mind, the descent continued through never ending darkness. guilt tugged at his heart, which betrayed him over and over again. it beat rebelliously in his chest though he desired the welcoming embrace of death, for he doubted his ability to continue donning his mask of apathy. pale lips quirked into a bitter smile as trembling hands rose away from his lap, fingers pressing against his forehead and then sinking into the slightly damp locks of dark purple hair.

befuddled and disoriented, his prone frame refused to move, locked into place by his memories and by his oscillating emotions. in one instant, he felt the need to request hae-sun’s departure from his apartment, yet when she left to prepare the soup,—was it soup? he could not recall.—he reacted instinctively to her retreat, attempting to ensure her continued presence by his side. dark brows furrowed while tears stung his eyes. to syeira, he floated in a sea of turmoil and of confusion. hae-sun confounded his addled mind, yet she kept him anchored to reality. without her, terror would claw away at his heart, ripping it apart and leaving him listlessly perched upon his bed. hallow laughter escaped him in a raspy tone, throat constricting despite the sound that slipped past his parted lips. perhaps he should heed her advice and stop pushing himself.

i have looked down the saddest city lane.
i have passed by the watchman on his beat
and dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

with stubborn tenacity, he dropped his hands away from his face, lifting his head and narrowing his eyes to help establish a sense of equilibrium. the world sharpened into focus around him as he pressed on hand against the wall, feet resting against the carpeted ground and figure trembling in a mixture of pain and apprehension. in a calculated movement, the dark haired model heaved himself to his feet, swaying dangerously despite utilizing the wall as a support. his feet shuffled across the carpet as he departed from the wall, and with each forward movement, the world spun dangerously around him. colors collided to form an indistinguishable blob while objects blurred together and lacked substance, morphing into an intangible idea within his mind. doubt crept upon his conscious thoughts as the distance between himself and his bed decreased; however, before he could reach the object, his strength vanished, evaporating from existence and leaving his body to suffer the consequences of his reckless actions.

the descent ended abruptly with his hands reaching out and snagging the familiar fabric of his covers, dragging the object off his bed as his body connected with the ground. fluffy carpet cushioned his descent while the blankets covered his overheated figure. sapphire blue tinted eyes blinked as he lifted one shaking hand to remove the covers, leaving them draped over the lower half of his body. once again, insular chuckles escaped him as he bent his body forward. his bangs shifted across his forehead as he bowed his head and unleashed another bout of half crazed laughter. i need assistance, syeira breathed upon regaining control of his senses… or a portion of his senses. the world remained a fuzzy blur to him as his hands dropped to press against the carpet, fingers brushing against the familiar texture of his journal.

i have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
when far away an interrupted cry
came over house from another street,

his fingers shifted closer to the object, curling around the cover and dragging it closer. with careful movements, he picked up the aged book, settling it on his lap and staring down at it as the emotions vanished from his visage. within his heart, the feelings fought for dominance, raging against one another as they oscillated between happiness and terror. contained within the book were his darkest secrets and his deepest desires. a portion of his mind warned him against glancing through the pages while his heart urged him to grapple with the demons of his past. bemusement colored his features—the sole reemergence of the maelstrom that existed within his heart, and for him, time ceased moving, brought to a screeching halt by his discovery. he did not move, did not blink, did not feel. syeira morphed into a statue as the seconds drifted into minutes and minutes transformed into an hour.

a voice shattered his blissful ignorance, but he merely blinked once, turning his head toward the door and staring at it without understanding the significance of the object. it remained the sole barrier between himself and his visitor, who seemed intent on forcing the ailing man to struggle with the deteriorating condition of his body and of his mind. the deep fractures increased as his brow furrowed. pale lips curved into a noticeable frown as he altered his position on the ground, easing his back to connect with the frigid metal of his bed and allowing the book to remain perched upon his lap—opened to the first entry which detailed the staggering and heart wrenching decline of his mother’s health. did he need to assist his visitor? or should he remain stationary—locked into place by his memories and by his illness? in the end, syeira lacked the strength to overcome the obstacle set before him, translating into his inability to force himself to his feet and open the door for hae-sun.