Hello, everyone! after dealing with real life and the other nonsense of living, panny and i have decided to bring back war of change. give a round of applause. we’ve worked through all of the information and hopefully improved coherency and cohesion; however, tell us if we missed something. eventually, we’ll announce an event to celebrate the re-opening, so look out for information on that. -RAIDNE, THE HEAD ADMIN
From the moonless night, screams of terror and fear resound, spreading across the world and infecting the masses; however, those sleepless nights occurred years ago. A new era began with the fires of war, and with no end in sight, the residents of Selene Isle trudge through life, basking in the momentary peace. Despite their prayers for continued monotony and peace, a storm brews, stirred to life by the continued presence of Rapture and Wraith. And as we set our sights on the seemingly peace laden isle, we must ask: how shall this tale end?
As the years passed, the number of true pairs increased; however, they continued to live in the shadows, catering to the whims of the mundane. Seven Moons kept watch over them all, instructing them and assisting them, but for many, the attitudes and ideals of the organization were smoldering, suffocating. With Seven Moons and the mundanes, they could not grasp the freedom, the power dangling before their eyes. In the beginning, rebellion was a dream, a fantasy, a figment—developed by the repressed and carried forward due to the nature of humanity. No one expected the call to sound, and no one expected the call to be answered. However, it happened.
in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes:
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
everything made her jumpy. one might think the logical outcome of watching horror flicks back to back with only food and restroom breaks in between for forty eight hours straight would desensitize to their overused scare tactics. but such was not the case.
every light in her small apartment was on. from the one in her bedroom to the one in her bathroom. her apartment was like a temple to light pollution. still, she crept quietly around her own home, as if making too much noise would bring bad luck upon her.
'see you when i see you'
regel smiled down at her phone, feeling warm. she would have dreaded spending anymore time alone. what a blessing nimat was.
she stood in her room, wondering how she should show up. definitely not empty handed. creeping to her fridge, she rummaged around, pulling out the pot of pasta she'd made earlier. better than nothing. regel figured that as a poor college student, nimat would be happy to have food of any sort. spending the next ten minutes heating the pasta and storing it in a couple tupperware containers
she returned to her room to gather a few last things, stopping by a mirror to check the make up on her neck, rubbing it slightly to make sure it stayed.
the girl didn't bother getting dressed. she was practically asking to stay over. the shorts and tank top that made up her pjs would suffice. after a second's thought, she pulled one of the blankets off her bed. it was an old thing. not exactly threadbare but one could see it was well worn. she held on to it even though she knew it's owner hated her. it reminded her of her brother. it made her feel safe.
carefully folding the blanket, she tucked it under one arm and took the bottle of ibuprofen off her bedside table. regel moved through her apartment systematically. starting from her room and ending in the living room, she turned all her lights off, slipping out into the hallway as soon as the last one was off.
balancing her things in her hands, she stood awkwardly in the hall for a moment, silently debating whether she should take the elevator or the stairs. the thought of both made her nervous. don't be such a chicken, she told herself. it's just fiction. regel steeled herself and called the elevator.
finding nimat's apartment took only a few seconds. she lingered outside for a couple breaths, glancing up and down the hall. perhaps horror movies were unnerving her, but somehow showing up at nimat's felt even more daunting. taking a deep breath, regel knocked.
his homework was never going to get done at this rate, and he was okay with that. in no time whatsoever it seemed as though his priorities had become pathetically skewed, and though he tried to convince himself otherwise, he was absolutely fine with that. in a way, this was almost a harder investment to make. not only did he have the knowledge that his grades were going to suffer, but the pressure was on; school had always rattled his nerves, but never quite like this.
twenty minutes, she had said. he spent a few of those putting away his books, but the rest went to presentation. his place was already practically spotless, nimat being nimat, but it wasn't good enough. he made his bed and tidied whatever he could get his hands on, but there was nothing to do about the books that littered his apartment. there was no way he could sort all of that out in twenty minutes. it would have to do.
all there was left to do was throw a t-shirt on over his ugly bachelor pajama pants and slap on some deodorant. he tied up his hair on the way to the door, and hearing the knock from the other side—perfect timing—threw it open far too quickly.
"hi, come on in— sorry about the mess."
they hadn't properly discussed it, but her attire confirmed his suspicions; blanket piled into her arms and clothes even more casual than his own, it seemed obvious that she was planning on staying the night, or at least camp here for a couple of hours. he was glad for it, but it didn't help his nerves any to see that she was ready to make herself at home.
as soon as he saw her, of course he remembered all the things he had forgotten to do. had he brushed his teeth? were the dishes still piled in the sink? had he remembered to put the lid back on the garbage can in the kitchen? was the toilet seat down? oh god. he hoped the toilet seat was down.
there would be time to worry about all of that when she wasn't standing in his doorway doing a balancing act with all of her possessions. he hadn't seen her dance yet, but he believed she was graceful enough, because he definitely would have dropped all of that by now. the tupperware containers full of pasta had definitely not gone unnoticed, but he didn't want to jump to the conclusion that she planned to share. he hoped, but he wouldn't assume.
"do you— want help with any of that—" he hovered for a moment, wondering if he should reach out to grab everything, but instead made to just move aside and clear a path for her. he wouldn't touch without permission.
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: nerd
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
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in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: stupid awkward idiot
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
though she knew it was coming, the motion of the door swinging open made her jump. regel silently cursed herself. they were just scary movies. what else would be behind that door besides a cute, smiling nimat. (she had checked and rechecked the room number to make sure it was the right one; there could be no mistakes.)
seeing nimat in the flesh immediately brought calm to her. regel settled easily into a relaxed style. finally, another human being. her apartment had felt so empty that for those moments regel felt like the only person in the world.
it wasn't until she actually stepped foot into nimat's apartment that she realized the terms of her coming over had never actually been discussed. she wanted to stay over but in a moment of panic, regel realized she never explicitly said that. the realization that she could be an unwanted guest, that she could be forcing her company on the boy, brought on more unexpected panic.
she wasn't so preoccupied that she missed his invitation. stepping inside she stood tentatively in his entry way, standing far enough from him so he could close the door but not far enough to actually be in any of his personal space.
"do you— want help with any of that—"
regel shifted her weight from foot to foot uncertainly. her peace offering of pasta felt meager now. but she held it out to him anyway, "this is for you— have you eaten?" idiot, she thought. it was past midnight of course he'd eaten. regel could feel her nervous levels rising. say something, she told herself.
"i, uh, really hope i'm not bothering you. if it's not too much trouble can i...uh...stay the night." of course, that mean spilling everything off the top of her head. great.
he was glad to see her make her way inside; there was something final about it, as though she could have turned and ran while she was still pondering his invitation, but she had chosen not to. he was acceptable. this was how the night would go. good. he tried not to be nervous about it, but he couldn't say he was succeeding, but much of it dissolved at the mention of food.
this is for you— have you eaten?
it seemed that a real, living, breathing angel had just stepped through his door. he reached out for the reheated pasta with the awe and appreciation with which one would usually regard a diamond or a brick of gold, shaking his head all the while. "i haven't— thank you, very much." he wouldn't have to eat that last corndog before bed tonight and for that in and of itself he was unspeakably grateful.
he balanced the containers in one arm and closed the door behind her with the other, trying to find a surface for her to set her things down on. he was still incredibly aware of her ankle, whether she liked it or not, and anything she had in her arms was extra unnecessary weight. setting the tupperware down on the coffee table he threw some of the throw pillows from the couch to the nearby recliner, hoping that would be adequate.
i, uh, really hope i'm not bothering you.
he turned his attention back to her right away, ears swiveling around confusedly as though he had heard her wrong. the idea was ridiculous to him, but she really seemed to believe it. he intended to voice the thought, but she beat him to speaking.
if it's not too much trouble, can i... uh... stay the night?
his ears really did make him too seethrough, automatically angling themselves straight ahead as he confirmed that he had, indeed, understood the situation. he nodded eagerly, the tip of his tail bobbing along in subtle tandem.
"absolutely— it's not— it's no trouble at all," he managed to stammer out his sentence, pausing afterward to straighten himself out a bit, but then finding that he wasn't sure how he was supposed to pick back up again. oh no. the night had barely begun and he was already running out of things to say. what do people usually do when they sleep over? was this even a 'sleep-over'? was he supposed to entertain her, or did she intend to just come over and fall asleep? the idea of actually voicing these things made him feel foolish, so instead he just stared and wondered, looking like an idiot until he zoned back in.
"oh— oh, uh— do you want the bed or the couch?" he said the first thing to come to mind, and it wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly thrilling either.
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: don't you just want to pack him into a cannon and shoot him at a brick wall
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
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in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: this post is gross regel is gross wow gross
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
following him into the room, regel placed the bottle of pills right next to where nimat left the tupperware, "thought you might want those back. thanks again."
nimat's reassurances did little to calm her nerves. however, she found herself stepping closer to him. perhaps it was strange to be here so suddenly, but she preferred his company to the silence of her own thoughts.
"oh— oh, uh— do you want the bed or the couch?"
awkwardness was not a thing that usually followed her but regel did not know what she expected out of this situation. they had met each other by chance, what, twice? regel was confidant that it was too early to say hey, let's share the bed. but that was where she wanted to be right now.
"i'll take the couch," she said, clutching her blanket closer. regel knew deep down that she was just lonely and looking for physical comforts. normally, that was her brother's role. now she was just some pathetic girl looking for someone to fill the holes. briefly she felt bad about using him, but there were things she liked about nimat too.
but that was her cue she supposed. making her way to the couch, she curled up in the left most seat. regel groped for something to talk about when a small grin spread across her face. "so how's the math been treating you?"
the quiet sound of pills rattling in their bottle didn't catch his attention until she was right next to him, setting his previous lends to her on the table next to their food.
thought you might want those back. thanks again.
he had told her to keep them, but she had already brought them back. he pursed his lips; there was no point in arguing about it now, but if he remembered, he'd toss them back in with her things before she left. he rarely had any reason to use them in the first place, and that bottle alone had been there since the last bottle had expired. she had probably taken more in the past few days than he had in the past year.
i'll take the couch.
yes, he regretted asking already. he should have just insisted she take the bed, but, at the same time, that would have been weird, right? the bed would be much more comfortable than the couch, and there was a good chance he wasn't going to end up sleeping anyway. after she went to sleep he was already deciding that he ought to stay up and try to finish some assignments, but he didn't want to tell her that, either. she seemed to be in the pattern of blaming herself for things like that, and he didn't want to put that perceived fault on her shoulders. he held his tongue.
she seated herself, and he followed suit, eyeing the pasta that sat on the coffee table before them. how long until it stopped being rude to dig in? he hoped she was intending on eating too so he didn't have to eat in front of her and feel bad about it. the time for conversation wasn't over, though, it seemed.
so how's the math been treating you?
ah. he didn't really want to talk about this. the texts from before, without intending to, had made him feel somewhat inadequate. the truth was that he was still as lost as he had been two days ago, and before that, he was as lost as he had been for the whole year, but saying that and seeming like an idiot wasn't how he wanted to start his night. without being able to summon an adequate response, he shrugged, figuring it was better than nothing.
everything about this felt exposing. it wasn't a bad thing, but it was absolutely new; there was another person in his private space, and he was hardly dressed immodestly, but being around people in any less than jeans and a long sleeved shirt was something he had done a very limited amount of times since his name showed up. absentmindedly he rubbed at the cursed spot on his wrist, providing himself with some false sense of security. the result, though, was exactly the opposite of what he had hoped. makeup rubs off.
"math is— math— i'll— be right back." he pushed himself up off the couch again, absconding with his pathetic mental state into the kitchen. it wasn't as though he didn't have a reason to be in here, but for the most part, he just needed to shake himself out a little bit, and the kitchen was better than the bathroom. bracing himself against the counter, he took a few deep breaths before going back to his real objective, getting two bowls out of the cupboard at eye-level and some forks from the drawer at his waist.
dropping back down onto the couch beside her, he actively decided to try not to worry. they could just play everything by ear as the night went on. he extended a hand, passing her a bowl; might as well eat while the food is still warm. ladies first.
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: it begins
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
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in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: this post is gross regel is gross wow gross
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
with nimat so close to her, regel felt the need to fill the space, as she had done last time on the ferris wheel. she had always been a clingy girl. she had always responded well to tactile comfort but it had been years since regel had felt the need to make that connection. tactile comfort was not something she sought from everyone. it left regel feeling too exposed and vulnerable for her to be able to.
vulnerable was not something she minded around nimat. regel was so used to having strange sentiments around nimat that she didn't think much of it any more. they came naturally, on their own, and instead, regel tried to indulge them the best she could with out being weird.
drawing her legs up, she rested the side of her head on her knees. she found she really liked watching nimat. his reactions were cute. seeing him shrug off her question about math, regel figured it was not the best thing to talk about. instead, she let the silence settle, hoping it was as comfortable to nimat as it was to her. with the presence of another beside her, regel was already feeling less skittish. the past few days without any real rest was catching up to her. though her eyes were starting to feel heavy, regel did not stop her study of the boy. her eyes zoned into his hand where he was absently rubbing his wrist. it seemed the more he rubbed, the more something became clear. she squinted at it. e-r...e-r-i—
"math is— math— i'll— be right back."
her inspection was interrupted. she let her gaze linger on him; following him until he disappeared into the kitchen. regel didn't want him to go. come back, she silently bade. but she knew he would not. instead, the dancer mulled over what she had seen. regel knew without a doubt that that was where nimat's true name was located on his body. if she had to guess, it was hidden with make up. like hers. she tried to wonder why, mulling over what the letters of his true name might become to warrant the make up. the curse suddenly felt like it was burning on her neck.
don't think about it.
in her tired state, it was not hard to empty her mind. regel simply just started at the doorway, waiting for nimat to reappear.
when he did, it felt like a strange veil was being pulled over her, filling her with strange needs. regel suddenly had the urge to touch him. rub his ears, run her fingers through his hair, cup his face, wrap him up.
don't think about it.
regel unfolded from her position to accept the empty bowl from him, wondering what it was for. she still tried to follow him with her eyes as he dropped back down beside her when the containers of pasta caught her peripheral. oh. exchanging her bowl for a container, she removed the lid, "it's okay i ate before i—" seeing his wrist again made her pause. h-e-r-i-s—
it couldn't be right? nimat couldn't be her fighter. he was too nice, too pure, too innocent. by comparison, regel was dirty scum. he should not be bound to someone like her. however, regel could not deny that a lot of their interaction made sense now.
still, he was hiding his true name with make up. like her. regel thought she could guess the reason why. suddenly she was regretting this trip. of course nimat didn't want anything to do with her. why would he?
trying to resist the urge to melt into a puddle and evaporate, regel attempted to continue like nothing was wrong, "you must be hungnry; the pasta is for you."
once he had set his sights on it, settling in was something much easier than he had anticipated it being. it was creeping up on one in the morning at this point, and nimat had figured things would be a lot stranger than they actually were. being with her felt natural, and the setting and privacy created a sense of intimacy— not the uncomfortable kind, but the kind you can really only foster when you're alone with someone at one in the morning. closeness without obligation. even that was a hard thing to adjust to; it wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't familiar. he shifted next to her a few times, trying to get comfortable.
feelings like this had no permanence. nimat was naive to not know that by now.
it's okay, i ate before i—
having balanced his bowl in his lap, nimat paused in the middle of his reach for the food containers. why had she stopped? he couldn't keep from kicking himself; he wasn't sure what, but he had to have done something. he should have asked her what she wanted to do, he thought, or at least not gone ahead on his own, but any and all of his thoughts on the matter seemed to be drowned out instantaneously. there was one thing above all else that nimat was self conscious about, and it took nimat not even a second to realize that she was staring right at it.
before he could react in any other way, he froze. his blinking, his breathing— everything slowed down so much that he wondered if even his heart might stop. he almost wished for it. his panic was silent and invisible, but it was absolutely there.
you must be hungry; the pasta is for you.
he heard the words as though he were underwater. very deliberately, he made himself nod his head, but in his present state of disconnect, the motion looked almost as mechanical as it felt. the only thing that really came naturally was the immediate impulse to cover it up, and so he did, clamping his hand down around it with an uncharacteristic firmness, as though to stifle a flame; with how badly it had burned him, the analogy wasn't far off. at no point did he so much as look at it. he didn't have to.
calm down. calm down. calm down.
it's just a word. it has nothing to do with you. it isn't even yours. that name had never belonged to him— would never belong to him.
"did—" he paused almost immediately; he had forgotten to breathe, and even the beginning of the sentence practically choked the last of his air out of him. "did you— you must have— sorry. sorry. i'm making it weird." a few more deep breaths. shake it off. shake it off. once more, more slowly now, he pushed himself to stand. on some lower level of his mind the thought occurred to him that he should put the pasta away, but he had a destination in mind and the idea of putting it off caused him an absolutely illogical amount of stress.
"is it— can i— do you mind if i change into something else?" long sleeves. long sleeves. he should have gone with those in the first place. nothing good ever came from breaking his routines; they didn't exist or no reason.
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: good job nimat
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
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in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: this post is gross regel is gross wow gross
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
show him.
it was not so much an urge as a basal instinct. this is the person she was bound to. they had a connection and now she had to act on it. she couldn't though. she had a good thing with nimat and revealing her true name would bring it all crashing down around her ears.
the image of her father came to mind. regel hated that man but he abhorred being a fighter almost as much as he abhorred her. what if nimat was like that. what if—
show him.
but she couldn't. saiph already hated her. regel was not sure she could handle nimat picking up the same sentiment. and he would. she was convinced. there as nothing to like about regel nejem. the thought made her hands shake. regel fisted them in her blanket, trying still them.
hearing nimat, she vigorously shook her head, "it's not your fault i'm just— i have a lot on my mind. sorry." she did not have it in her to smile at him. all she could think of was nimat hating, hating, hating her.
out of the corner of her eye, regel could see that nimat was distraught. this was her fault and that voice in her head was screaming for her to fix it. show him. regel knew her behaviour was unwarranted. this was supposed to be a fun night. she was ruining the mood and she owed nimat an explanation.
slowly, she brought her hand up to her neck. she felt numb, like she was observing the exchange from outside of her body. "nimat," regel took her time rubbing the make up off. without it, she felt naked. "i think— is this—" she faltered, unable to put together enough thoughts to form a sentence. instead, she pulled her hair away and turned her head so that her true name became fully visible.
nimat, too, was overwhelmed by urges and impulses the likes of which he had never experienced in his life, but nothing that could overpower his primitive. hardwired instinct to run.
he knew there was no danger; regel posed him no threat. regel was good. regel was wonderful. on a realistic level, everything was in order, but on an emotional level, he just couldn't take that in. he was already on his feet— his apartment was small, and both of his escape routes were immediately before him, but the same stresses that made him want to run and hide were those that pinned him in place. even now, he worried that he would appear rude; until she said it was okay, he was rooted to where he stood, and she didn't seem like she was going to allow him the opportunity just yet.
nimat.
he didn't look at first, having trouble peeling his eyes away from the doorway, and even when he did, it was in short bouts. she was doing something to her neck.
i think— this is—
she appealed to his attention with her words, but it was eventually his own curiosity and disbelief that commanded his focus. as she went through her motions, new details emerged that hadn't been there before— letters. a word.
cherished.
he always imagined that if this moment eventually came, it would feel as though his entire life had changed, the world around him would take on new hues, all of his questions would be answered. instead, he stood, still rooted in his place, and stared. it sank in slowly; was this a dream? was he sleeping? nothing quite felt real, and he wouldn't have been surprised to wake up at his desk with the sun in his eyes any moment now, but as the seconds passed, something did eventually thaw its way through to him.
a unique sort of confusion— no, no, it wasn't confusion, not quite. wonder. that was it.
the dreamlike state never quite went away, but it did change, gradually; as the realization set in, the panic began to subside, and with enough deliberation, he reassumed at least enough control to seat himself again. the confusion remained, but not without the desire to satisfy it.
at least one of his questions had been answered: she did definitely wear it better than him.
his next actions were almost automatic; after years and years of training himself to hide it, the haste with which he scrubbed at the skin of his wrist with the hem of his t-shirt still sent off warning signals, but it didn't stop him. she had been able to identify it minutes ago, but seeing it totally exposed felt different.
a rite. a vow.
"i'm—" he needed to say something; he couldn't just gape at her forever. "glad. i'm glad. i'm—"
it was the first thing to come to mind, and he surprised himself with his own candidity, but it wasn't untrue. he should have felt some shame, and on a conscious level he knew it, but it didn't feel wrong. they had known each other for a week, if that, but their connection had been instant— and now they knew why.
"i'm glad it's you."
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: it's 5:30 in the morning and i'm fucking gay get this away from me
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
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in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: this post is gross regel is gross wow gross
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
poor nimat. that was the only thing regel could think. the boy looked like he was about to make a run for it. regel couldn't fault him. she was repulsive. the dancer waited for the verdict with bated breath.
having her true name uncovered made her feel uncharacteristically exposed. it was strange; not even being on stage, where she was effectively naked but for a couple meager pieces of clothing, made her feel this way. it was not an entirely bad thing.
as a matter of fact, other than the exposure, regel was feeling... nothing. not exactly numb. perhaps more like a sense of zen was washing over her. whatever the outcome, regel felt she could take it and still hit the floor running. it was freeing. for once in her life, she did not feel shackled down by the weight of a lie imprinted in her skin.
when nimat sat back down, regel figured he had seen enough. she let her hair fall back into place like a curtain. still feeling the zen, she drew her knees up to her chest, openly watching him as he scrubbed make up away with the helm of his shirt. though she already knew his true name, seeing his mark fully with out the cover with make up only solidified their new found connection.
"i'm— glad. i'm glad. i'm—"
he didn't sound glad. nimat sounded unsure, maybe even unhappy. she could only wrap her arms around her legs tighter. he must be lying through his teeth to make her feel better. no one could be happy with her. no one—
"i'm glad it's you."
regel's eyes stung. the small part of her that just wanted to say fuck this and cling onto him shrunk. you knew this would happen; you can't be happy until you ruin all the good things in your life, can you? her thoughts were accusing. regel dug her nails into her legs, trying to will her hands to stop shaking. she focused her eyes entirely on her feet, "it's okay if you're not. you don't have to force yourself."
there was an uncomfortable stillness over the room. this wasn't how things were supposed to be.
he was happy, or he had been; there was nothing to doubt about that. among the several emotions he had cycled through, at no point had he been unhappy. not until now.
at the same time that he was speaking and unwinding, he could see her giving into the urge to retreat, balling up with her knees to her chest. it wasn't until he saw her hands shaking that he realized his own were, too.
his own urge to run was slowly creeping back up on him, but the dreamlike state he had been in was slowly fading away in turn, stranding him in the awkward reality of his own creation. with his opposite hand, he reached over to cover his name again, but the feeling of exposure didn't go away as he had hoped; it was still out and bare and in the open, even if it couldn't be seen.
it's okay if you're not. you don't have to force yourself.
he wished he could seize the very thought and memory of it. every piece of it, he wanted it gone. he often thought the name brought him nothing but trouble, but things like these reminded him that he was wrong. the name wasn't nearly as problematic as the person who wore it. the name had brought him regel, but it was nimat who was responsible for the way things were right now. the name was no curse; nimat was the curse. the name was just a mockery.
"i'm not— i'm not forcing myself," he spoke as honestly as he could, but even then, he wasn't sure how to describe exactly what he was feeling. there was good, but the bad hadn't left him yet: confusion, hesitation, fear. the name had shown up at the lowest point in his life, and to show up again at a high point like this just spoke like a bad omen.
he didn't want this to go wrong, but it seemed like it already had, by no fault of anyone but himself. "i'm just— i'm— nervous."
if anyone looked unhappy, it was her. his heart sank into his stomach at the idea of it. cherished. their name hung in the air, and the perceived rejection that the both of them felt in their misunderstanding hung right there beside it. yes— a mockery, for certain.
he wanted to say sorry. she deserved better.
"the same— the same goes to you. you're not... obligated." it was just a word, and though it was set in their skin as though in stone, they were still two individuals with thoughts and feelings and the capability to choose.
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: stupid idiot
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
[newclass=.nim]-webkit-transition: all 0.5s linear;-moz-transition: all 0.5s linear;-o-transition: all 0.5s linear;[/newclass][newclass=.nim:hover]margin-top: -400px;-webkit-transition: all 0.5s linear;-moz-transition: all 0.5s linear;-o-transition: all 0.5s linear;[/newclass]
in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: this post is gross regel is gross wow gross
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
he was covering it up again. though it was only his hand, regel could not help but think that nimat wanted that mark to vanish. you're not good enough, that poisonous little voice reminded her. for what was possibly the millionth time, regel reminded herself that saiph left for a reason. she reminded herself that her father hated her and her mother didn't care. if her own blood was willing to kick her to the curb, why should nimat, a stranger, want her?
the past several minutes made her feel exhausted, like she hadn't slept in countless years. it had been a long time since she had felt this low. but right now, regel was positively defeated. without the strength to keep her in that tight ball, she let herself relax some into the couch.
"i'm not— i'm not forcing myself. i'm just— i'm nervous."
it took a moment for regel to process that. nervous. it was easy to forget how high strung nimat usually was. he was shy and seemed to lack self confidence. but whenever she imagined him in her head, he was that passionate boy on the ferris wheel, excited to tell her about the merits of history. regel had been drawn to that.
"the same— the same goes for you. you're not... obligated."
she was drawn to this nimat too. this sweet innocent nimat who she just wanted to draw under her wing and protect. she was not obligated but she wanted to. she wanted to so much...
it suddenly occurred to regel that they could both be feeling the same thing. the thought filled her with an indescribable high. maybe... just maybe...
there was not a drop of liquid courage in her veins but at the same time regel felt drunk. almost. "i'm not," she agreed, "but what if i want to."
it was late. he was tired. the way things were going, he figured the night was pretty much over; with the rough start they had gotten, he wouldn't have been surprised if she would have preferred her own apartment despite her complaints from before.
the thought was almost comforting on some level. if he hadn't impressed her so far, he didn't have a whole lot left to offer; that idea in and of itself was a disheartening one, but at least it meant he didn't have to try anymore. unanchoring his hand from his wrist he let his arms fall to the sides, reclining back into the pile of throw pillows behind him to stare at the ceiling.
i'm not.
yeah, there it was. it was a decisive answer, though he supposed it was good. if she would have had to force herself, she shouldn't; the honesty would be better for both of them in the long run, he figured.
but what if i want to.
oh.
the first good misunderstanding of the night. he craned his neck just slightly to look back at her, hoping to catch her eye, verify that they were on the same page. he wondered if he should allow himself to hope that he understood; what he believed to be happening contradicted so many of the notions he had acknowledged and fallen back on for years, but that wasn't a bad thing. not at all.
"i guess— that would make two of us."
[attr="class","nim"]
notes: i hate him
tagged: waifu
template by nocturne
[newclass=.nim]-webkit-transition: all 0.5s linear;-moz-transition: all 0.5s linear;-o-transition: all 0.5s linear;[/newclass][newclass=.nim:hover]margin-top: -400px;-webkit-transition: all 0.5s linear;-moz-transition: all 0.5s linear;-o-transition: all 0.5s linear;[/newclass]
in one of the stars i shall be living. in one of them i shall be laughing. and it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look up at the night
Notes: this post is gross regel is gross wow gross
Tagged: husbando
template by nocturne
'i guess― that would make two of us.'
she didn't have the energy to second guess nimat's words. that vile voice in her head spoke to her but regel was too exhausted to respond. instead she uncurled. pushing her blanket onto the couch, she crawled towards nimat, closing the small space between them and reassumed her previous position.
finally making physical contact was satisfying, even if Regel was too tired to fully appreciate it. she leaned into his side, tucking her head against his shoulder. he was warm (and he still smelled nice). "sorry i hope this is okay."
"i've been dying to do this all night," she confessed after a moment. from where she lay against him, regel got a very good view of his wrist. she read the word etched into his skin over and over again, as if trying to reassure herself it was really there. cherished. cherished. cherished. she wasn't sure why fate was being so kind to her, to give her nimat, but right now she was too tired to question it.
they both still had a lot to work out, she knew. but if she felt like she had been repeatedly run over by a truck, she was sure nimat felt the same way. "we should," she wrung her hands together nervously, "talk this over in the morning. you're probably tired― i'm tired."
it suddenly occurred to her that she had agreed to take the couch. however, regel was not sure she was ready to give this up yet. she was finally getting a taste if the tactile comfort she craved. please don't make her be alone. regel didn't want to beg for it but she didn't know what else to do,"if it's okay, can we..." she trailed off, trying to get her message across with a gentle hand wrapping around his forearm. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- when regel woke, the first rays of sunlight were just beginning to filter through the window. it took her a moment to reorient herself. this wasn't her bed; this wasn't her room. there was―
the events of the night before came rushing back at her and her breath caught in her throat. regel eyed the white head of hair next to her. cherished. for once in her life, the name was not followed by a sense of dread. she really hoped she could work something out with nimat.
she had wrapped around him in her sleep and regel gave herself a moment to enjoy the feeling of having someone next to her. she missed this. and she would miss it, minutes later when she carefully unwound from around him. if she wanted things to work out, she needed to make a good impression. the night before was a whirlwind and regel knew she screwed up.
breakfast was probably a bad cliche, but it was better than nothing. she took a quick glance a nimat's fridge and immediately grabbed her keys. nimat was such a bachelor.
her own apartment wasn't well stocked either, but at least it was not full of frozen dinners. grabbing a package of bacon and some eggs from her fridge, regel wondered what she was going to say when nimat woke up.